We need all the love we can get our hands on. The NBA used its big Zoom board to create a fake home crowd for every game, replete with virtual home fans, chant prompts (WHY? Dr. Romano was the one who got chopped up by a helicopter, yeah? Anyway, the Fins could have had Joe Burrow. In other news, living in The Carolinas (this term is gross) has never been worse for people with brains. And for most non-hardcore fans of the NFL, that is where the list will end. Ryan Tannehill last year became the first quarterback drafted by the Miami Dolphins since 1983 to start and win a playoff game. Speaking of the sneak, Rhule loves to run that play on second-and-short, using it nearly twice per game in that situation. If anything should spoil you for buying a boat, it’s the 98 percent of boat owners out there who will tell you NEVER FUCKING BUY A BOAT because of the expense and the upkeep. Visit defector.com to subscribe to their new site. And yet, you’d never know it from looking at the roster. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group.

Plus, the brief and oddly natural return of “Maine Talk.” Check out Bob’s new album Blue Hearts, available now.

And just because the league has to do the right thing doesn’t mean it will. It’s just the extra precaution I need. I was watching Vikings-Texans on Sunday and the Texans already had some real fans in attendance. Sucks what happened to Deanspin but that doesn’t automatically make Drew and Roth good podcasters. I used to watch the MTV broadcast of Loveline a lot myself (featuring Diane Farr!

Former Deadspin writers Drew Magary and David Roth should really stick to sports. Unfortunately for … Two decades later, BOTH those guys turned out to be complete fuckheads. I am as sure of this scenario playing out as I am in the sun rising and setting each day. I’ve lived my entire life in Nebraska. This was always destined to be Kyle Allen’s lot in life. This 2020 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. ), and I was always like that Dr. Drew guy seems really sensible. The televised product would have been vastly improved. Jerry Richardson was a diseased pile of shit, but Tepper’s only gonna SEEM nicer by comparison. The Dolphins traded Laremy Tunsil to Houston as well, because there’s no real point in protecting any QB who’s played for this team since 1999. Some people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. I’ve been to Miami. I can’t say I’m impressed to see a guy with all the money in the fucking world spend some of it. But if history is any indicator, they’ll run him and all his talent into the ground and then he’ll retire or get picked up by another team that understands how to actually win. But these two men and their guests will have their fair share of off-the-field issues they’ll also have to address: stupid Funbag questions, bad tweets from bad people, pointless food arguments, and even less. Gerald McCoy is gone after just one season. So God only knows what awaits me on the other side of that corridor. Fuck Derek Jeter. From Defector. I’ll never forgive the franchise for that. None at all. King Arthur was in charge back then and shit. ), -“I wish that we could somehow STILL get Tua.” (Cue Dr. Hibbert nervously chuckling while showing Dean Peterson his flimsy replacement hip. The so-called stars need to be on the team page.”. They traded for Josh Rosen, who can’t play. When the crowd on site joins me in hating my own team, I feel a little less lonely in this crazy world. You won’t remember a goddamn thing about any of them. Don’t sell each other heroin.

Your coach: Brian Flores, who actually might end up being a good head coach. The Dolphins managed to draft Tua Tagovailoa at No. I’m too smart for that shit. I know I’ve been looking over a drink menu in front of a waiter and then said, out loud, “You know what? I’m not gonna get Trump’s blood and suddenly start flipping around the TV looking for my face so because it’s now the only way I can achieve orgasm. So let’s say Trump survives and has to quarantine with no staff and no help. But it’s true.

Tua’s hip will somehow explode from COVID (I’m not a doctor). But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Carolina Panthers. Cleo Lemon to Greg Camarillo on the first play of overtime. Tua will reinjure his hip by week 10 because we haven’t had a competent offensive line this millennium. I bet he can’t. I’m sure it’s killing him inside, and the best I can do for him is remain positive about our fancy new golden boy, even though we all know Tua will be tossed onto the field a full year before he’s ready to start, if he’s ever fully healed. As always, North Carolina operates in the shadows of more openly deranged states like Texas and Alabama, but it’s essentially a microcosm in America is in that it’s a lovely place that contains a majority of normal people, but is run by a coterie of racist shitbags and wolves in preacher’s clothing.

Anyways, we started getting real doom and gloom about depressing things – climate change, the state of US politics, the state of international politics, when we almost went to war with Iran (at that point, it had -just- happened, and I cannot believe that was this year), etc.
On The Distraction, you mentioned what a piece of crap Dr. Drew has turned into. They traded the wrong Fitzpatrick to the Steelers, instantly gifting one of the league’s most annoying franchises the All-Pro safety it has coveted ever since Carnell Lake died.

), Drew & Roth welcome their first guest, Yahoo’s Andy Behrens. Is this something that happens to all white dudes in their 50s? I’m 50/50 on whether I will subscribe but I do hope it succeeds. This is Defector, a new sports blog and media company. We rented a boat this summer. It was fucking AWESOME. Nice.
I don’t need to watch the Rhule Panthers play a single fucking game to know this’ll all end in a form of acrimony that’ll be 10 percent more understated than it was under previous regimes. But enjoy watching a redemptive three-week playoff run as he leads a scrappy Titans team past two AFC juggernauts.”), -“I wish this barren Mason Rudolph-led Steelers team would be desperate enough to give up a first-round pick for a disgruntled Minkah Fitzpatrick.” (Minkah instantly turns into Ed Reed 2.0.

Thrilling shit.

Cam Newton gave his body, not to mention the bulk of his sanity, to Carolina. But I read a couple of the WYTS and realized how much I miss their brand of humor. No signup or install needed. Now that those obligations have been fulfilled, the winning owner will have, in scrappy billionaire fashion, gutted out the bubble season with true moxie (owners don’t have to stay in the bubble). Adam Carolla was always predisposed to become what he is now. I’ll still mull over a food menu in front of the waiter and go WELL IT ALL LOOKS SO GOOD I JUST CAN’T DECIDE! We are around the same age, so I assume you grew up watching the TV show ER on NBC. Given all this change and fact that Panthers will play in front of marginally smaller crowds this year than usual, it would make for a perfect time to be terrible and tank.

Then, defeated, Trump would turn on the stove and immediately light the entire building on fire. From the hospital bed the next day, I watched our one W that season. 1 and someone like Dr. Malucci would be toward the bottom. HOWEVER, those are conference finals trophies and no one gives a shit about those. Jerry Richardson statue is off Panthers property. That city is a cruise ship toilet. 'Wyoming Transit Service' is one option -- get in to view more @ The Web's largest and most authoritative acronyms and abbreviations resource. It sucked, even if going tubing on the lake after the fact kicked major league ass. I’m still mad at how they fucked over Smitty. This begs the question: what is the worst class to have to teach over the computer?

He fits right in with the Panthers’ tradition of murdering their own quarterback. But for now, I still get to say HE IS SHIT. Nah, we’ll just draft Dan McGwire 2.0. Luke Kuechly is gone. So if wingnuttery still awaits me, it’s gonna have to navigate quite a gauntlet. I could have been a Broncos fan, and enjoyed Elway, Von Miller, and Super Bowl 50. Can the NBA finally do the right thing and present the Larry O’Brien trophy directly to the players? If ultra-fundamentalist GOP candidate Dan Forest – who hasn’t done any work in his role as lieutenant governor, preferring to just campaign all the time – I’m probably going to have to ship my daughter to live with my brother in The Netherlands. Visit defector.com to subscribe to their new site. We made this place together, we own it together, we run it together. This iteration of the Panthers is built with all the lasting integrity of a set on the Warner Brothers lot. Possibly ready to shatter at any moment, but still, a franchise-altering quarterback. At my job, all union negotiations are confidential and sharing them publicly would be a labor violation. I'm a big online reader and I'd like to have some proof it can work at their level. What happened to Cameron after he destroyed his Dad’s Ferrari? Anna's excellent book, Republic of Lies is available now. Your letters: Russ: At one point in my life I … I laughed it off because I was young and desperate to lose my virginity, but I died a little inside on that birthday. The LOX join Drew & Roth to talk Jadakiss' infamous pizza order, juice bars, and which NY sports team is the absolute worst right now. Ryan Tannehill started in the AFC title game. 30 days? What would you do if you got COVID and your doctor said, “We can treat you, but it will be Trump’s plasma.” Are you opening your veins to his plasma? I think his Dad killed him. We made this place together, we own it together, we run it together. Ryan Fitzpatrick is the absolute GOAT when it comes to entire seasons of garbage time. The Kyle Allen season. My dad is a Cowboys fan and I had to hear about “Dallas east” for like 5 years because of Bill fucking Parcells. We turn the reins over to Kyle Allen, who then sequentially turns it over to the other team.

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