Two police officers crash their car into a tree. So I pushed her over. I met a Jewish girl and she asked for my number. My wife ran off with my best friend.... hide.

Because your best friend gives you space when you need it. You can share your funny jokes in the comments. What’s the toughest part of being a vegan? share. 1560 GIFs. Why do we tell actors to “break a leg? 14 comments.

Apparently keeping it to yourself. Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. What I would give for a solid stool like that... Fun facts, the dung beetle isn't just the strongest insect, but the strongest animal as it relates to strength to size. You’re hilarious!”. Church.

What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet? They were also sacred in ancient Egypt (a scarab is just a fancier name for a dung beetle). Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. Also, dung beetles use celestial navigation to move about. After 3 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence. If you have a great joke, please share it in the comments. I asked my wife why she married me. And yes we saw all the true big ones but these little guys really put a smile on our faces. Sorry, this post has been removed by the moderators of r/funny. So when someone asks you what it is, you can tell them it’s 12345678. Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. The sun god was depicted as a dung beetle rolling the sun across the sky. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. I told her we use names here. My girlfriend is like the square root of -100. Share the best GIFs now >>> The light was on and the beer was cold. HaHaHa! She said “Because you are funny.” I said “I thought it was because I was good in bed.” She said “See?

It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away. Would love your thoughts, please comment. He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them. If I had a dollar for every time someone over 50 told me my generation sucks, I could afford a house in the economy they ruined. Something bad is about to happen… I can feel it. And I miss him! Now I just need to figure out if it’s my wife or my girlfriend. My girlfriend dressed up as a police officer and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. One of the coolest creatures out there. Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. She seemed surprised. Because they insist on carrying a baby to full term. Why won’t the Republicans impeach Trump? 1 1. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts.

There is nothing better than a funny joke to make you laugh, so here is our ongoing collection of the funniest jokes. I had a vasectomy because I didn’t want kids. I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I'm writing. I opened up the fridge. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. I’m not sure what she was talking about. The DEA is the worst. Cookies help us deliver our Services. I just can’t deal with high maintenance women.

Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful. 546. But when I got home they were still there. HaHaHa! I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight… There would be mass confusion. I had to said no. Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888. The beetle, called Onthophagus taurus, was found to be able to pull a whopping 1,141 times its own body weight, which is the equivalent of a 150-pound (70 kilogram) person lifting six full double-decker buses.Mar 23, 2010 copy paste from livescience.com. A solid 10, but also imaginary.

I hate people who take drugs. After a moment of silence, one of them says, “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site.”. report. She said, “Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights”. Press J to jump to the feed. Posted by 2 hours ago. You can share your funny jokes in the comments. I got home to find my wife had left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working I’m going to my mom’s”. Close. After months of grueling tests, a species of horned dung beetle takes the title for world's strongest insect. "Barkeep, the pu pu platter special, please.". It will definitely spice up my autobiography a little. Moderators remove posts from feeds for a variety of reasons, including keeping communities safe, civil, and true to their purpose. I asked my 10 brothers and sisters, but they don’t know either. August 4, 2019. 546. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Hahaha Not Funny animated GIFs to your conversations. Sort: Relevant Newest # lol # laugh # laughing # hulu # hahaha lol # laugh # laughing # hulu # hahaha # funny # lol # laugh # laughing # haha Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? The lady janitor in my building asked if I would hang out and smoke some weed with her. How often should a person make a chemistry joke? The dung beetle was super memorable for us. I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I'm writing. What do you call a book club that’s been stuck on one book for years? Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?

save. Because every play needs a cast. Ew, take me upvote and leave my stool alone. My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. When I told my family I was becoming a yoga instructor, they looked at me like I was a mat man. Press J to jump to the feed. There is nothing better than a funny joke to make you laugh, so here is our ongoing collection of the funniest jokes. 95% Upvoted.

Because they have a supreme ruler. Log in sign up. Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words?

User account menu. Periodically. I asked my wife if I was the only one she has ever been with.

My wife and I honeymooned in Africa.

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